Having three puppies in the house did not make practicing my new gift of magic easy.  Every time I went to try a new spell someone would cry.  Almost always leaving me singed.

“Sir Albert, this is a baby.  They are horrible little creatures.” I said seriously to Sir Albert as I picked up Reinhold.
“Meeeoww” was all he said in response but I knew he was agreeing with me.

Singed is a good look for you.

Shut it.

Isn’t talking to your cat a sign that your crazy?

Probably, but I knew I was crazy when I agreed to live with you.

Very funny.

Not soon enough it was the triplets birthdays.

Free them from their bondage blankets!

I wish they stayed wrapped up forever, lost a lot of good furniture to them.

But it was soo cute!

Sure.

First was Elvira.  I think.

You don’t know?

I get the girls confused.

So then next would be Kali.

Great mom.

They look so much alike!  At least I remembered her name this time.


And the boy?

Yes the boy….er…..

You still don’t know?

Reinhold!

And his booger.

Gross.

Your telling me.
I soon discovered I was pregnant.  I guess Ron Lee was more fertile than I was giving him credit for.  Winter came and covered Riverview in a blanket of snow.

You would think that would have stopped the zombies but no, they dug out from the snow.

And ate my hibernating plants.

It was a frozen treat.

It was sad.

While Katty enjoyed a snow day by building Snowmen in our front yard.

And Eve lit the old pile of leaves on fire.

How did you find out that was me by the way?

Sir Albert told me.

“When you’re done burning down the house, I think we should move back to Moonlight Falls.” I smiled when she came inside.
“You have 4 kids and one on the way.  Why move now?  Back to a town on the, forgive my phrasing, witch hunt for you?” Eve looked at me like I was crazy.
“Relax.  I will wait for the baby then get a quick makeover.  Mudd is staying here so they will never know its me.” I nodded.  It was a perfect plan.

It’s always your plan.

Not always.

99 percent of the time.

If it aint broke, don’t fix it.

The house was pure chaos for my last trimester.  As I potty trained one, Sir Albert tried to stop the others from destroying my house.  He was not overly successful.

Meanwhile Eve was neglecting her Fairy Godmother duties and playing in the snow at the Winter Festival.

Hey, I help a lot!

Keep telling yourself that.  Your who got me into this!

No, you did.  Remember the wishing well?  The villagers?

Stupid Cinderella. 

Now, now, you got your revenge.

I guess I did, kind of.

Thank goodness she was your adopted sister.

Yeah, otherwise that would have been gross.  But we are sharing too much, that is a story for later.

True.

Late one evening while everyone was sleeping except Eve who was out on the town I went into labor.

I rushed home as soon as you called!

Yeah, but I was in pain.

Sorry.

“I think I hear the triplets crying.” I sneered as I walked past Eve on her scooter and loaded into the taxi.

I got to the hospital just in time to give birth to Timmy, son of the late Ron Lee.

Don’t sound so happy about Ron.

Oh shush, you barely knew the man.

Doesn’t mean he life wasn’t worth something.

I never said it wasn’t.  It was worth exactly one cup of Cow plant milk. Yum.

Eww, you drank Ron.

No, just his life essence.

Anyway, when I got home Eve insisted on holding little Timmy.  I was tired and honestly babies are not that exciting to me so I let her.  Little did I know she was tired to and planned to go to her Fairy house soon or I would have put Timmy to bed myself.

He would have been fine, the snow around him would have warmed up.

For someone who loves babies you know nothing about them!

Thankfully Sir Albert realized the fairy's mistake and came to get me.

That cat just wanted to get me in trouble.

Yep, that’s it.  Sir Albert has it in for you.

I came outside and rescued Timmy from his snowy death, thanks to Sir Albert.

And after warming him up I put him to bed and thanked my cat.
“You are the best addition this household has ever had.” I cooed as I scratched his ears.
“Meow.”

Stupid cat.

Oh hush you.

After the near death of Timmy I decided it was time for that makeover.  Which included a healthy tan.

And some hair dye.

“You know you left Timmy in the snow? That’s how babies die.” I said as Eve and I walked to the taxi.
“Oh stop being so dramatic, he was fine.” She rolled her eyes.
And I am the crazy one.

Not soon enough we were back in Moonlight Falls.  Home sweet home. 

Was it just me or was it strange that it was summer there when it was midwinter in Riverview?  They are not that far apart.

Just you.

Time fly’s when your researching, raising a baby and a home all at once.
I had spent so much time running around the house I did not notice that my kids were growing up.

Nice raking outfit.

I was on the daddy hunt.

Mudd went first, being impatience to get out of the house.  Something about me cutting off his tongue.

That’s because you told him you were going to cut out his tongue if he told the people of Riverview what you do.

Did I?

You don’t remember threatening your son?

I say a lot of mean things, you can’t expect me to remember them all.

I guess.

Mudd grabbed a slice of cake and sat to enjoy it alone while we all watched his little sister Katty grow up into a toddler.

Did he even say bye?

I don’t think so.

And how did Katty get your dyed hair color?

Simnetics?

Huh.

But all my ignoring my children was for a good reason.  I had made a few changes to myself.  Something that truly helped in my mission.  I rushed downstairs to show my new trick to Eve who was relaxing on the couch with Katty.  A swirl of my shiny wand and poof!

"Ummmm how did you do that?" Eve asked concerned about where the apple had come from.
“Well you know how I have been working with alchemy?” I smiled slyly.
“You didn’t!” She stood slack jawed.
“I may have…” I swayed back and forth.
“You know what this means don’t you?” She eyed me with her big eyes.
“Well yeah, I can do stuff like that?” I pointed at the apple with a shrug.
“And so much more! You have tilted the power shift of your future, I thought I felt something weird.” She said starting to panic.
“Calm down, what’s wrong?” I asked, concern for the situation growing slowly.
“I…I…I have to do some research. I will talk to you later.” She said turning quickly and walking out the door mumbling to herself.

Well you should of asked first!  You don’t just go making changes like that, it messes things up.

I would still argue it only made things better.

Of course you would.

The next morning I found the cutest little fur ball.

Aka your familiar.  Which just made you more powerful.

Aint nothing wrong with that!

I brought him in from the cold and upon seeing his fluffy face name him Sir Albert.

And you thought I gave animals a bad name.

Sir Albert is not a stupid name, Smushy face is.

I miss Smushy face.  He was a great dog.

Well would it make you happier if you knew he didn’t really get hit by a car. 

Wait he didn’t?

No, I just told you that.  I adopted him out to the firefighters in Moonlight Falls.

Why did you let me think he was dead!

Well he could be now…

Stop that!

You seemed so sad, I didn’t want you to go and steal him back.  Death was easier to explain.

For you it would be.

Back to Sir Albert please.  He was a cute little kitten at the time and couldn’t even make it up the stairs, so he spent the early times in his life living on the main floor.  One evening he would not stop meowing at something outside the door, he kept sniffing and meowing so I finally went outside to check it out.

“Your alive!” Dwayne growled when he saw me.
“Is that a bad thing?  I thought you were house sitting for me.” I was a little ticked at his greeting.
“No its wonderful, I thought you were dead.  I felt something shift and ran to you as soon as I could.” He stepped in closer like he didn’t believe it was me.
“And left my home alone?” I was still annoyed.
“No, I would never.  My son is an adult now, he is watching it while I am away.”
I smiled at that, he assumed it was that he took care of things but really it was that I had fresh meat waiting for me in Moonlight Falls.
“Why don’t you come inside.  Riverview fall nights can be cold.” I smiled.

When we got inside he pulled me close.
“I missed you.” He slurred behind his fangs.
“Good” I smirked and kissed him.
It was not long before we were getting reacquainted upstairs.

Always with the bow-chica-wow-wow with you.

How else do you expect this to get done?

Hmmmmm.

You chew on that.

I spent a lot of time working with Katty, teaching her all she needed to know.  I could not believe that I would be potty training 100 rug-rats in the end.

It was not long after Dwayne’s first visit that I found out I was pregnant.  He was very excited, but I did not see him much.  Sir Albert grew up into an adult cat, I think he just got more hair.

For Katty’s next birthday we had a costume party.  Eve was a firefighter, not the hot kind.

Why do costumes always need to be sexy?

So the hotdog will want to use you as a bun.

Did that even make sense?

If you think about it long enough it will.

Your gross.

I know.

Anyway, Katty grew up into a child and wasn’t overly thrilled about all the costumes. 

Until Spooky day came around.

True, she dressed as a cow plant.

How fitting.

I thought it was funny. 

You dressed her as the thing that ATE her dad.

She doesn’t know that.

Twisted.

Funny!

While Eve and Katty went around begging for candy I discovered I needed to go to the hospital.
“Wow!” I exhaled, “Don’t worry I will get you out.” And I called Dwayne for a ride.

I was there for what seemed like forever with him gabbing in my ear, as I pushed out what seemed like a litter of babies.  Dwayne sniffed each one as they were handed to me and smiled.  All three, two girls and one boy where werewolves. 

Your first supernaturals, what a great memory.

Puppies.  I had puppies.

A day or so later I invited over Ron Lee.

How did you two meet anyway?

Honestly I don’t know.  I got a love letter from him one day, he said I bought ice cream from him at the summer fest and he really liked me.

How sweet.

Yes well he was a gap filler.

It was not long before I gave Ron exactly what he wanted.

You just had triplets!

You were good with them, and I spent time with them later.

Oh yeah?  What were their names?

Well, there was Elvira….

And?

The other girl and the boy.

Really?

Let me think and get back to you.

Terrible.

After some fun with Ron I asked him to feed my cow plant.

You didn’t even wait to see if you were preggo first?

Eh, my plant was hungry.  Vampires don’t go down well.

Human’s go down smooth though.

What ever happen to Dwayne.  I don’t think I ever saw him after the triplets were born.

Well…

What?

He was hit by a car?

No.

Okay, I might have trapped him in a small cell and left him to die.

You what!

Well I was waiting for the cow plant to be hungry again and he died first…why are you so surprised?  Its just as bad as having him eaten alive.

Well, I don’t know.  It somehow seems worse.

Really?

I guess when you put it that way.  But you could have let him live.

Not my style.

“Are you pregnant?” Eve bum rushed me by the wishing well.
“Well no.  Stupid Genie.” I said tossing my hands in the air.  I was starting to worry I wouldn’t finish my new fate.
“Good.” Eve sighed.
“Excuse me?  This whole 100 baby thing is your fault and I have barely killed anyone, what do you mean good?” I raised an eyebrow.
“We need to move, fast!” Eve seemed panicked.
“Why?” Eve was rarely this worried.
“Your son, Mudd, told his teacher that you kill people.  By law she needed to contact the police, they are going to start an investigation.” She explained as calmly as she could.
“He WHAT!” I was starting to get angry quickly and then Eve kicked on her soothing aura calming me down, “we don’t even have time to sell the house.” I worried.
“I thought about that, we will leave it in the care of Dwayne and come back when things have cooled down.  We just need the essentials.”  She explained.
“Okay, I will go pack real quick.  You call a taxi.” I sighed giving in.
“Already done.” She smiled. 
On rare occasions I was happy to have Eve around.

Thank you.

I said it was rare.

I am looking past that.

We needed two taxis because of all our stuff, leaving Eve and Mudd to ride together.
“Is this my fault?  Mom said she was going to cut out my tongue in the next town.”  Mudd panicked.
“Well, honestly?  Yes.  But I am sure she will let you keep your tongue.  Maybe.” Eve smirked out the window.

Your evil was rubbing off on me.

I know, its wonderful.

A cute quiet farm house in Riverview.

I should live in a castle, not any home that can be described as cute or quaint.

You got your throne in the end.

Yes I did.

After I put away all my elixirs and special stones Eve came running in with what she thought was the best idea ever.

It turned out well.

Sure.  She dragged me down to the junker she had bought and tossed me the keys.
“Get in.” She smiled.

“So where are we going again?” I asked slightly annoyed and the disruption.
“The summer festival.” She smiled slightly.
“This better be good.”  I growled.

And good it ended up being.

You got lucky.
Just as I was prepared to call it a lame day I spotted a vampire hiding by a bush.  So I approached him.

“Hungry Sailor?” I smiled at him.
“Hi I am Denon Mace.” He smiled back.
We spent the afternoon talking and when the sun got to be too much for him we went to the movies. 

He was a nice guy.

Yeah, which is why it took so long.  He didn’t want to take advantage.

So you took advantage of him?

I am not a nice person.  Duh.  Anyway, I invited him over for Mudd’s birthday.

Cute little boy….

Becomes a cute teen.

Nerdy but cute.

After cake, Denon and I had desert.

Dirty.

He-he.

The next morning Eve and I started to work in the garden.  We did live on a farmland after all and while harvesting apples I started to feel sick.  So I called it a day and went back to bed.

I woke up early in the morning to discover that Denon had planted his seed.

You set that up just so you could say that.

No.

Yes.

Maybe.

Dirty.

Only a little.

I limited my contact with Denon to only phone calls for a while, but he wanted to meet up so we met at the cannery and I told him the news.
“I am pregnant.” I smirked.
“I am going to be a dad?” He asked excited.
“Yeppers.” I rolled my eyes.
“This is great news!  I want to be a part of his or her life.  I want us to be a family….” He started on and I started to ignore him.
“Yes, that’s great, okay, I agree.” I murmured until he stopped gushing.
We grabbed dinner and then went back to my house for some fun.

Interesting since you didn’t seem to like him that much.

Hey preggo or not a girls got to get her kicks.

As luck would have it, that night I went into labor.

And Denon drove me to the hospital.

Such a nice guy.

There were a lot of nice guys.

Meet Katty, our HUMAN daughter.

Don’t get grumpy.

She would have made a great vampire.

Instead she made a great human.

I guess.

Denon insisted on staying the next night to help with Katty.
“Hey Hun I am really tired would you mind doing me a favor?” I whined.
“She babe, anything.” She smiled grabbing my hands.
“I have a carnivorous plant living in the top of the barn.  Could you go make sure he his warm enough?” I smiled sweetly.
“Ummm,” concern crossed his brow, “it is summer shouldn’t it be warm enough?”
“It’s very tropical.” I said getting a little cross. “Besides you’re a big bad vampire what do have to fear of a little plant?”
“True.” He said puffing out his chest, “I will be back soon.” Denon kissed me on the forehead and walked out of the room.
“I highly doubt that.” I laughed as I heard him walk down the steps.

"I know my little butterscotch, I know your hungry.  I am working on it I promise." Loki cooed at one of her man-eatting plants. They were only been fed fish every other day and craved something with more substance, something bigger.

Loki called her connection at the alchemy store.
"It did not work.  I am still not pregnant!" She growled into the phone.  But her anger turned to interest as the man describe a different way to get what she wanted.

May have saved his life.

But it didn't.

True.

With Loki wrapped up in her evil plans, her daughter Tennessee lost her mind and started pillow fighting with the air.

She is just creative.

Crazy.

Creative.

Crazy.

Loki was on a new mission and she had two things to do.  Step one mix a youth elixir, something she found to be rather simple.

It should not be that easy.

But it has side effects if used to much.

I used it once...ish.

Uh-huh.
Item two was to go to the alchemy store and buy a very limited item.  Something that was said to have been taken from the dead hand of Aladdin.

And he wasn't even that impressive.

Yes he was!

Of course you think so.

Lets not get into this here, not again.

Fine.

Meanwhile I took care of little neglected Mudd.  His mommy did love him but she was busy plotting people's deaths and stuff.

And births!

But...

More importantly deaths.

Tennessee's insanity left her exhausted.

Creativity.

Keep telling yourself that.

She was a teen, teen's are weird.

That's the truth!

To her credit Loki did spend some time with Mudd.  Her mothering instinct is in there some where.

Thank you.

Way, way, down there.  Deep behind the pit of despair and blood.  Under the evil...

We get it.

But it is there.

Loki, luckily has a live in babysitter.

Its called rent.

Sure it is.
Anyway, because of this she was able to go and surprise Dwayne at his own house party with no children in tow.

He said he wished I could come.

Yeah, but that it was better you didn't.

After surprising Dwayne and realizing that his wife had no idea who she was, Loki put her new toy into action.

Genies, blah!

Stop that.

Ha-ha, okay.

Loki explained what she needed to the Genie.
"Why would you want one of those?" He asked raising an eyebrow. 
"Did I say want?  No.  Need." She corrected him.
"Alright.  I will see what I can do, but magic only does so much."  And with that he lead her into the house.
They mingled for a little while waiting for people to slowly leave the room.

Once the room was empty Loki looked at the Genie.
"Well?" She sneered.
"Well what?" He joked.
"Just do it already, I am sick of smelling like dog all the time." She sighed.
"Okay." The Genie smiled and clapped his hands three times.  Loki was lifted off the floor as a surge of magic shot through her stomach and out into the world.

It felt like there was something rearranging my goods.

Well, there kind of was.
I guess.

Once Loki was done being magically mumbo jumboed she sent the Genie back into his lamp.
Then she did something really classy.

I thought it was funny.

I have no doubt you did.  Loki stormed into the other room where all the guest where chatting and pulled Dwayne into a huge kiss. 

His wife's face was priceless!

Dwayne being the Dog he is was caught off guard and had no reservation about kissing her back in front of his wife and guests.  Loki whispered a suggestion in his ear and glided out of the room.

Dwayne went to follow but before he could he got an ear-full from his wife about how embarrassing he was.  She also told him to move out immediately and never come back.

So we went upstairs to..ummm..pack.

Pack, sure.  Anyway, that is how the great Dwayne Wolff ended up crashing at our house.

Until...da da dum!

Very dramatic.

Thank you.

Not really a compliment, but it is in your nature.

Yes it is.

Anyway, not long after Dwayne moved in, kind of, it was the kids birthdays.

They keep getting older!

They need to.

I know but it makes me feel old.

You have had 100 kids grow up to young adult, you are old!

No, my life clock has me at young adult also.

That doesn't mean your not old, your just not aging.

I have to age to get old.

I am not going through this with you again.

You started it.

No I....never mind.  I am ending it.  Tennessee grew up first into an interesting adult. Her hair choices will always, it seems, land on the funky side.

Mudd also, now all skilled up, grew into a child. 

Finally able to care for himself.

Have you ever thought maybe you should have taken one of those personality changing potions?

No, why?

So you could have more affection towards children.

No, and now that I think about it that would have been a terrible idea.

Why?

Because I had to move and kick them out on their birthday, emotions would have messed that up.

Hmmm, so its a good thing you were an uncaring mother?

For me, yes.

Huh. 

Mudd didn't turn out too bad.

No he didn't.  While Mudd and I got cake Loki sat to have a chat with her daughter Tennessee.
"What are you going to do for money?"  Loki asked.
"Does it matter mom?  Not like you will help me." Tennessee sneered looking away from her mother.
"Tennessee, you know my situation.  You need to move out, how about this I will buy you a cute starter home.  I have some money left from Tristan." Loki suggested.
"Well, okay.  Is Tristan that last guy you married?"
"Yes." Loki nodded.
"He died of hunger right?  I always kind of wondered."  Tennessee shrugged.
"Yes the dummy did." Loki looked down, and back up at her daughter, "You should contact your dad."
"Maybe.  I will start packing." Tennessee got up and walked over to her mom.  She bent down and hugged her, Loki just patted her arm, and then she went to pack.

I bought her a house!  Don't make me sound like a monster.

Of course you did, she was Param's daughter.

Shut up.