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"I know my little butterscotch, I know your hungry.  I am working on it I promise." Loki cooed at one of her man-eatting plants. They were only been fed fish every other day and craved something with more substance, something bigger.


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Loki called her connection at the alchemy store.
"It did not work.  I am still not pregnant!" She growled into the phone.  But her anger turned to interest as the man describe a different way to get what she wanted.

May have saved his life.

But it didn't.

True.

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With Loki wrapped up in her evil plans, her daughter Tennessee lost her mind and started pillow fighting with the air.

She is just creative.

Crazy.

Creative.

Crazy.

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Loki was on a new mission and she had two things to do.  Step one mix a youth elixir, something she found to be rather simple.

It should not be that easy.

But it has side effects if used to much.

I used it once...ish.

Uh-huh.
Item two was to go to the alchemy store and buy a very limited item.  Something that was said to have been taken from the dead hand of Aladdin.

And he wasn't even that impressive.

Yes he was!

Of course you think so.

Lets not get into this here, not again.

Fine.

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Meanwhile I took care of little neglected Mudd.  His mommy did love him but she was busy plotting people's deaths and stuff.

And births!

But...

More importantly deaths.

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Tennessee's insanity left her exhausted.

Creativity.

Keep telling yourself that.

She was a teen, teen's are weird.

That's the truth!



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To her credit Loki did spend some time with Mudd.  Her mothering instinct is in there some where.

Thank you.

Way, way, down there.  Deep behind the pit of despair and blood.  Under the evil...

We get it.

But it is there.

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Loki, luckily has a live in babysitter.

Its called rent.

Sure it is.
Anyway, because of this she was able to go and surprise Dwayne at his own house party with no children in tow.

He said he wished I could come.

Yeah, but that it was better you didn't.

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After surprising Dwayne and realizing that his wife had no idea who she was, Loki put her new toy into action.

Genies, blah!

Stop that.

Ha-ha, okay.

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Loki explained what she needed to the Genie.
"Why would you want one of those?" He asked raising an eyebrow. 
"Did I say want?  No.  Need." She corrected him.
"Alright.  I will see what I can do, but magic only does so much."  And with that he lead her into the house.
They mingled for a little while waiting for people to slowly leave the room.


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Once the room was empty Loki looked at the Genie.
"Well?" She sneered.
"Well what?" He joked.
"Just do it already, I am sick of smelling like dog all the time." She sighed.
"Okay." The Genie smiled and clapped his hands three times.  Loki was lifted off the floor as a surge of magic shot through her stomach and out into the world.

It felt like there was something rearranging my goods.

Well, there kind of was.
I guess.

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Once Loki was done being magically mumbo jumboed she sent the Genie back into his lamp.
Then she did something really classy.

I thought it was funny.

I have no doubt you did.  Loki stormed into the other room where all the guest where chatting and pulled Dwayne into a huge kiss. 

His wife's face was priceless!

Dwayne being the Dog he is was caught off guard and had no reservation about kissing her back in front of his wife and guests.  Loki whispered a suggestion in his ear and glided out of the room.

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Dwayne went to follow but before he could he got an ear-full from his wife about how embarrassing he was.  She also told him to move out immediately and never come back.

So we went upstairs to..ummm..pack.

Pack, sure.  Anyway, that is how the great Dwayne Wolff ended up crashing at our house.

Until...da da dum!

Very dramatic.

Thank you.

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Not really a compliment, but it is in your nature.

Yes it is.

Anyway, not long after Dwayne moved in, kind of, it was the kids birthdays.

They keep getting older!

They need to.

I know but it makes me feel old.

You have had 100 kids grow up to young adult, you are old!

No, my life clock has me at young adult also.

That doesn't mean your not old, your just not aging.

I have to age to get old.

I am not going through this with you again.

You started it.

No I....never mind.  I am ending it.  Tennessee grew up first into an interesting adult. Her hair choices will always, it seems, land on the funky side.

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Mudd also, now all skilled up, grew into a child. 

Finally able to care for himself.

Have you ever thought maybe you should have taken one of those personality changing potions?

No, why?

So you could have more affection towards children.

No, and now that I think about it that would have been a terrible idea.

Why?

Because I had to move and kick them out on their birthday, emotions would have messed that up.

Hmmm, so its a good thing you were an uncaring mother?

For me, yes.

Huh. 

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Mudd didn't turn out too bad.

No he didn't.  While Mudd and I got cake Loki sat to have a chat with her daughter Tennessee.
"What are you going to do for money?"  Loki asked.
"Does it matter mom?  Not like you will help me." Tennessee sneered looking away from her mother.
"Tennessee, you know my situation.  You need to move out, how about this I will buy you a cute starter home.  I have some money left from Tristan." Loki suggested.
"Well, okay.  Is Tristan that last guy you married?"
"Yes." Loki nodded.
"He died of hunger right?  I always kind of wondered."  Tennessee shrugged.
"Yes the dummy did." Loki looked down, and back up at her daughter, "You should contact your dad."
"Maybe.  I will start packing." Tennessee got up and walked over to her mom.  She bent down and hugged her, Loki just patted her arm, and then she went to pack.

I bought her a house!  Don't make me sound like a monster.

Of course you did, she was Param's daughter.

Shut up.

11/24/2012 01:38:01 am

Wow! This story cracks me up! :) Keep it going please!!!

Reply
Cat0eye
11/26/2012 12:43:40 am

Thank you!

Reply



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