My turn!
Once upon a time an annoying Fairy made me have 100 babies!
Pitch forks….
Okay, challenged me to have 100 babies to save my…well let’s say karma.
Yeah, okay.
Once upon a time an annoying Fairy made me have 100 babies!
Pitch forks….
Okay, challenged me to have 100 babies to save my…well let’s say karma.
Yeah, okay.
First thing was first, we needed a home. So in the super cool town of Twinbrook, we bought this shack.
It looked nice in the realtors office.
It looked nice in the realtors office.
“Yep this is your fault.” I pointed out first thing, “and I thought the medieval times smelled bad.”
And with that comment Eve, the fairy in question, flew off beckoning me to follow her.
Annoyed I caught up with her just as a taxi pulled up. We sat in the back seat, trying to ignore the strange looks the driver was giving us.
“Where are we going now?” I said hushed.
“You’re never going to get knocked up in that.” Eve laughed loudly. My cheeks blushed for a moment before what she said sunk in.
“Wait what?” I looked at her panicked.
“I will explain at the salon.” She smirked.
“So what’s this about getting knocked up?” I asked for what seemed like the hundredth time since we got in the taxi.
Little did she know that was the magic number.
“Can I cut your hair?” Eve asked eyeballing me.
“My hair? I like my hair.” Distracted from the baby talk.
Little did she know that was the magic number.
“Can I cut your hair?” Eve asked eyeballing me.
“My hair? I like my hair.” Distracted from the baby talk.
A little fairy dust and a spin later Eve had messed me up bad.
“Oh yes,” she smiled as I started to tear up at my reflection, “This look says mom of 100 crying babies!” She giggled wildly.
“I look horrible, I am redoing this.” I grumbled looking for the bathroom to wash my face.
“Okay well, you need to have a look that will attract all types of men. You need to have 100 babies, that is your new fate.” She said passively as though I insulted her.
Well you kind of did, I worked hard smearing that make-up.
Yeah, sure, you were just playing a trick.
“I will die first, literally.” I paused in shock of my new fate.
“Oh, right, little detail. Once you become an adult you can allow your pet to eat the dads.” She smiled brightly.
“That’s a lot of death.” A slight smirk appeared on my face, maybe I could meet the Grim Reaper!
“Yes, well, I get one and only one veto to your killing and baby making. I have to save at least one to stay a neutral fairy.” She said causally looking at her nails, “and if you should happen to find a different way to stay young by all means, use it.” She smiled up at my smeared face.
“That doesn’t sound too bad.” I said stepping up to give myself a makeover.
“Oh it will be easy.” She smiled her fairy smile and left me to my work.
“Oh yes,” she smiled as I started to tear up at my reflection, “This look says mom of 100 crying babies!” She giggled wildly.
“I look horrible, I am redoing this.” I grumbled looking for the bathroom to wash my face.
“Okay well, you need to have a look that will attract all types of men. You need to have 100 babies, that is your new fate.” She said passively as though I insulted her.
Well you kind of did, I worked hard smearing that make-up.
Yeah, sure, you were just playing a trick.
“I will die first, literally.” I paused in shock of my new fate.
“Oh, right, little detail. Once you become an adult you can allow your pet to eat the dads.” She smiled brightly.
“That’s a lot of death.” A slight smirk appeared on my face, maybe I could meet the Grim Reaper!
“Yes, well, I get one and only one veto to your killing and baby making. I have to save at least one to stay a neutral fairy.” She said causally looking at her nails, “and if you should happen to find a different way to stay young by all means, use it.” She smiled up at my smeared face.
“That doesn’t sound too bad.” I said stepping up to give myself a makeover.
“Oh it will be easy.” She smiled her fairy smile and left me to my work.
“Oh yeah, I look good.” I laughed when I was done, got to love modern style.
“Heeyy, all those soon to be dead daddies better watch out.” She replied to me in the mirror across the room.
“Let’s go find me a man.” I smiled turning to leave.
“Found him.” Eve called to me. I turned to see who she was eyeing.
He totally reminded me of a tomato, and you know I love to garden.
Yep, Juan Darer. What a winner. Thanks Eve.
No problem buddy.
“He is first.” Eve whispered to me.
“No.” I shook my head.
“Yes, trust me no one will know he is missing!” She whispered harshly.
I eyed Juan, maybe he wasn’t so bad.
So I approached him, “Hi, I am Loki. Want to grab dinner some time?” I smiled sweetly.
“Umm, yeah sure tonight at 8?” He looked at the floor, “the bistro?”
I just nodded, winked and walked away.
I turned to see Eve fairying around. I called her over.
He was not happy.
No one was.
I was.
Whatever.
“So you preggers yet?” She smiled walking up to me.
“Eve, do we need to talk about the birds and bees?” I asked gently.
That never happened.
It did in my version.
Your ridiculous.
Duh.
Just jump to dinner.
Fine.
“Eve, do we need to talk about the birds and bees?” I asked gently.
That never happened.
It did in my version.
Your ridiculous.
Duh.
Just jump to dinner.
Fine.
“So do you want kids?” I asked between bites.
“Yes.” Juan smiled into his soup.
“Do you want to maybe come back to my place?” I jumped to the good stuff.
“Let’s see how dinner goes shall we.” He smiled.
Needless to say, I came home alone. Juan was apparently old fashion, little did he know what time I was from. Talk about glorified, but it allowed him to live one more day so maybe it was a good thing. When I got home I found Eve in the basement playing with Fergus, yes I named the man eating plant.
“Did the nice fairy feed you Fergus?” I pet the big lug and turned leading Eve upstairs.
“We need him hungry Eve.” I sighed closing the door to the basement and locking it.
Eve cheated, like normal, and put out a soothing aura damping my mad.
Not cheating, helping.
Cheating.
“I was just soo bored.” She moaned hands on her hips.
“So find something else to do, this is a huge town and a new world.” I tossed my hands up.
“Fine” she huffed and poofed into a little ball of light.
She flew to her little castle in our home to be grumpy pants.
I had a big screen TV.
Must have been pretty tiny, ha-ha.
Juan and I courted for about a week, till I asked him to marry me. Court house style.
He didn’t like the idea at first, so I gave him a taste of our married life. We went to the court house shortly afterwards. A quick paper signature later, Juan and I were hubby and wife. And let’s just say we made it official very quickly.
I came outside to find Eve giggling.
Come on, it was funny.
Okay a little bit. We whispered about my victory and laughed, a lot. Thankfully with Eve’s fairy senses, she could knew I was going to be pregnant with in a few days of my marriage. Which was great because Juan and I did not get along at all, but he didn’t know that.
That evening I took him downstairs, to meet my pet.
“He is huge!” Juan gawked.
“This is Fergus,” I pet his nose, “Fergus, you know what to do.” I smiled and stepped away.
Juan looked at me confused.
“Just wait, he has a trick for you.” I smiled and kissed Juan on the cheek. When I got upstairs I locked the door.
“Did you put a shower in down there like I asked?” I asked Eve when I got upstairs, “You know Fergus hates smelly food, he will just cough him back up.”
“I did.” She nodded, “and a few other things.” Eve added with a smirk.
That’s when we smelled smoke.
“Just wait, he has a trick for you.” I smiled and kissed Juan on the cheek. When I got upstairs I locked the door.
“Did you put a shower in down there like I asked?” I asked Eve when I got upstairs, “You know Fergus hates smelly food, he will just cough him back up.”
“I did.” She nodded, “and a few other things.” Eve added with a smirk.
That’s when we smelled smoke.
Juan, instead of eating cake, wanted candy. He decided to eat from Eve’s trick Jelly Bean Bush.
And because of that, died in a fiery death.
He should have eaten the cake.
I could not agree more.
Anyway, a few nights later, Eve’s powers were confirmed as I lost my dinner to the toilet.
I walked out to see Eve smiling at the newspaper.
“That sounded fun.” Her smile widened slightly.
“I have to do this 99 more times?” I moaned grabbing my stomach.
“Give or take a few depending on multiples of course. But in a sense yes. 100 lives.”
It wasn’t long before the baby started to show.
“100 times? Are you sure?” I asked again, hoping for a different answer.
Eve just smiled and nodded.
But a baby was the least of our problems, our swamp had zombies.
RSS Feed